Ladies so you’ve been dating this guy for a while now. You just can’t decide if he’s the one or not. He seems like he has it all together or maybe he doesn’t? He seems like he cares or does he? He seems perfect for you but is he? He may have already proposed and you’re thinking should I do this. Well I’ve compiled a few characteristics to look for in a man to help guide you in your decision to stay or give him the boot.
This list is not the end all be all by any means and does not make for the perfect man! He can have all these qualities and still be flawed. Never seek for perfection because you will never find it. These are just the basics that you should look for in a man. Notice I said man and not boy!!! So now let’s see if he’s the one!
1. He respects you as a woman
Mutual respect is something that is needed in all relationships. Both parties are going into the relationship with different values and opinions which is why it is of vital importance to respect one another’s individuality. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he doesn’t respect who you are then it’s time to rethink that connection.
2. He talks about you(in a good way) to other people including women.
If a man really likes you, he will make mention of you to close friends, family, and acquaintances. This allows others to see that he is proud to have you by his side. However, if you’re just a side piece, no one will have a clue who you are. When you are in the presence of his family or friends, you should hear “he talks about you all the time” or “we’ve heard so much about you.” The point is that he should be bringing you up in conversation if he’s even remotely interested.
3. He introduces you to relatives and close friends.
This goes hand in hand with the second quality. Most men will want you to meet the ones who helped shape and mold him into the man he is today. This is important because meeting them gives you an even bigger glimpse into who he really is or will become. We tend to be our true, authentic selves when we are around those that we are the most comfortable. Meeting his loved ones proves he’s not ashamed of you or your relationship.
4. He places your needs before his own.
Men have been given the important task by God to be our protectors, but how many men are doing just that? Well if the guy you’re courting is frequently asking you about your day or interested in how you’re doing in general, then that shows he’s more concerned about you than he is himself. He would rather make you happy and put himself last because he realizes that making you feel loved and appreciated is his top priority.
5. He doesn’t pressure you to have sex.
We all know what the Bible says about sex before marriage so I’m not going to elaborate too much on that. Sex before marriage complicates things on so many levels. It is an act that was meant to be enjoyed with your spouse. With that being said, no one should pressure you to do anything you are not ready to do or handle. Don’t compromise your morals and values for an act that only brings instant and temporary gratification. No one is worth a lifetime of regret.
6. He has a relationship with God.
Anyone can go to church every Sunday and say they know God, but not everyone has a relationship with God. He not only knows God, but he talks to God and consults God before he makes a move. Prayer is a daily must for him. God is the center of his hopes, dreams, and life. He also will not allow you or anyone else to come between his relationship with God. You want a man who is led by God and not his own devices. God humbles him and keeps him from making bad decisions for the both of you. This is important because once you are married, you become one flesh, and his bad choices affect you as well.
7. He encourages and helps you pursue your dreams and goals.
Any man who loves you will not stand in the way of your pursuit to greatness. In fact, if he really loves you, he will help you to achieve whatever it is that you set out to do. He will encourage you to keep going even when you feel like giving up. He will be one of your biggest motivators or at least he should be. Even if you fail, he will tell you to keep striving because he wants to see you succeed.
8. He doesn’t compete with you.
The world is full of people competing with one another. The last thing you need is to be in a relationship with someone who competes with you. When you go to do something, he’s not trying to show others that he can do it better, but rather he’s on the side line cheering you on. He’s not trying to outshine you. He realizes that the both of you shine bright together so there is no need to compete.
9. He has goals and aspirations.
There is nothing better than a man who has goals and aspirations in life. Not only does he want to see you succeed, but he wants this for himself. He’s not trying to just live off you and your success. He is working towards his goals and not just talking about them, and they’re realistic. He’s not just all talk, but he’s putting in the work to better himself. There is also nothing worse than a lazy man. If you don’t know what his plan is for his life, make sure you ask. Then pay attention to whether or not he is putting that plan to action.
10. He trusts you.
Trust is huge in any relationship. If there is no trust, then there really is not much of a relationship. He’s not calling you every 10 minutes or sending you a million text messages trying to figure out where you may be. He doesn’t keep you from having friends because he feels like you will give them more time than him. If there is no trust in the beginning, then chances are there will be no trust if that issue isn’t addressed early on in the relationship.
11. You share similar wants and desires.
The saying is that opposites attract, however, you and your significant other should share similar wants and desires. For instance, if he wants to have kids and you don’t, then you need to decide if this is a deal breaker. If he doesn’t want them now, he probably will not want them later. Of course he could change his mind, but are you willing to wait on him to decide? Not sharing similarities can put a strain on the relationship because you will desire one thing and he another. You want to spend the rest of your life with someone who you can enjoy life with and not feel like you’re missing something.
12. He is an excellent communicator.
Communication is another key factor in a relationship. If he’s not willing to open up and talk to you about what he’s dealing with or listen to you regarding what you’re dealing with, then what’s the point? You want someone who is open and honest. He not only communicates verbally but also communicates by listening to you. He’s not afraid to tell you how he really feels because he values your opinions and finds you worthy of his inner most deep thoughts.
13. He doesn’t embarrass you around other people.
Any man who intentionally embarrasses you around others is not a man you should want to be in your life. No matter how funny it may be to him, if it’s not okay with you, then it’s most certainly not okay. If he does do it, address him privately. If he continues to do it in spite of your concerns about it, then that just shows he doesn’t care. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life. Let him be a comedian by himself.
14. He loves you unconditionally, flaws and all.
He doesn’t care how flawed you are, he loves you no matter what. You may think you’re not pretty enough or thin enough. However, if you have a man who will say that he loves you and thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world then leave it be. He fell in love with you just the way you are. He goes out of his way to show you how much he loves all of you as well.
15. You’ve prayed about him, and God had shown you in some way, shape, or form that he’s the one.
This one is probably the most important out of all the reasons how he may be the one! God knows this man a whole lot better than you. He knows what is truly best for you and who is best for you. Don’t rush into anything that you don’t know for sure that God has ordained. You don’t want to spend your life in regret or have to go through a nasty divorce all because you chose not to see something that God told you to step away from in the beginning. Don’t become that desperate to have a man that you forget that God has someone very special for you and will not allow you to be joined with just anyone. Don’t hesitate to consult God and ask Him to show you your dream man. He has no problem showing you in some way and some how if you’re with the right one. Just be willing and ready to receive the truth.
Now ask yourself, is he the one?